A LOT TO TELL

So, I had the Gamma Knife treatment on two tumors in my brain, which is essentially radiation. It was not enough to have two tumors in my brain, but a small third one was found via an MRI prior to the radiation. Then less than a week later, I have brain surgery. Real brain surgery, the doctor cut open the top of my head, about four inches and removed a large malignant brain tumor. I was in the hospital for two nights. After the operation and before he sewed me up the surgeon inserted gamma chips into my brain. The chips are contained in a mesh material that surrounds the circumference of the area that was created by the removal of the tumor and they are radioactive. they stay in my brain forever. These little chips remove whatever remaining tumor cells that may have not been removed during the operation. Then ten days later, I got my first Her2 infusion.  Needless to say, it was one hell of a few weeks.  I was exhausted!!! Thank goodness that was really my only negative reaction to all the procedures.  I slept for days and could not do much of anything. 

But July 4^th, the day my husband died was coming up and I had to commemorate his passing with my son.  We get together and travel to a place that we know Lewis would have enjoyed and spend time together.  It has been something we have been doing since he died.  So, I had to pull myself together and find the energy to go.  And go I went, to First to NYC and to spend July 4^th with my son and fiancé. We saw the tall ships, the Airforce fly over, I went to the Symphony commemorating the 250-year anniversary of our Nation and then saw an outrageous display of fireworks.  And on the 5^th, we flew to Rome.  Italy was great.  No shit, how could it not be?  We spent a few days in Rome and saw the sights.  We then drove south down the coast. We went to Napoli, Porto and the island of Ischia, where we stayed in a castle.  We ate at all the best restaurants.  Went to a farm and had their homemade olive oil and learned how to make mozzarella.  We went to wine tastings. And of course we went to all the ruins on the way.  I was exhausted most of the days, but I pushed through. It was a marvelous trip, and my only regret is that Lewis was not with us. 

Then I returned to Miami and the following day I got my chemo.  I was supposed to have more radiation on my neck, because they found two spots that are cancerous in my neck bone.  Of course, I can’t miss a spot.  But it was cancelled pending the outcome of my chemo treatments.  I was thrilled that I would not have radiation on my neck. This was located in a tricky area and could cause real harm if it went amiss. A week after my last chemo, I went for a Pet Scan to see if the chemo was doing its job. Now I was nervous!!! If the chemo was working, great. I am in the clear. But if it is not working, then I am shit out of luck. I have gone through all the hormonal drugs that are available and there are none left to take and after chemo, there is nothing to be done, but to cut out the cancer one by one or to join a clinical trial. Not good options. You can just imagine; I was very nervous regarding the results.

I had the Pet Scan and the nurse the following morning stated that the Pet Scan showed that the Chemo was working. She said that the cancer in my chest, lungs and hip were all diminishing, but she did not want to say what will be regarding my neck. The radiologists who was going to do the procedure stated that I do not have to do anything at all and I will see them in September. My oncologist said that the results were excellent. But it was not until my Surgeon stated to me yesterday that he could not find any signs of cancer in my neck that I could actually breath.

I am lucky, I have had cancer since 2002 and stage four cancer since 2020 and I am still here and kicking. Some would say that having cancer alone makes me unlucky. But to me, I am so very lucky and blessed. I am surviving!!! And living a full life!!! I have friends and family that have shown me love, friendship and limitless kindness and compassion. These individuals, and you all know who you are, I want you to know how much I love you in return and cherish you beyond words can ever express!!!

Now that I am in the clear, I am leaving this Monday to go to Costa Rica.  I will be there until the day before I need my next chemo treatment on August 7th. If I must come back every three weeks to get chemo I will.  I am ready to start living again!!! Yes, I do have my issues, but I will not stop living a full life because of them and I will not allow them to dictate how I see the world.  I see love, friendship and laughter and many good times to come.  And that is what I will strive for.  Please do the same!!  Life is presented to you, much you cannot change, but it is up to you on how you perceive your life and your issues!!  It is up to you to decide to find laughter, love and happiness in your life.  It is out there, now go out and find it!!!

Life is not merely surviving!!!!