WHY?

I know what you are expecting: Why is this happening to me???? But no, that question was asked way back when I first got cancer in 2002 and it was asked by my mother. My response to her at the time and even now it would be the same answer to the question: why not me???? It is a non-exclusive club that is made up of too many people and one that has no criteria for joining other than the necessity to have a breast. So no, that is not the question. The question that I get from many people about my blog is; Why are you writing your blog, being that it is so personal? Well, I thought long and hard before I started to write it and I realized that it could actually be beneficial for some people. I have seen on too many occasions a person get so wrapped up in the diagnosis of Cancer that they lose sight of anything other than trying to deal with arresting the progression and/or curing the disease. They forget that they have a life to live separate from the disease and the treatment. They lose sight of what is important in their day to day living. I try to use my blog to remind them of what is significant about life even if you have cancer.

Now, I am not saying that I am solely altruistic in writing my blog. To me writing is cathartic. I put down how I feel and all the facts surrounding what is going on and it allows me to get it out of my system. Writing has always been that way for me. On a daily basis I write in my head, what I think, what I would or should have said, conversations with others working out my differences and even what I will write in my blog prior to putting it down on paper. It works for me. It is amazing how once you put it all down in a coherent format and you can look at it all, then the hurt, the fear, the questions, and even the significance of the diagnosis seems to dissipate to some extent.

Like I have said on so many occasions, life is worth living! And no one should waste even a day!!! But for me, the question is; what kind of life? I personally do not believe in prolonging my life just to exist. I will give up days, months and even years, if the life that I live is going to be one in pain, anguish and consist only of treatment after treatment. I will weigh the treatment and the effect on my life to determine what I will consent to in regards to the doctors suggestions. Remember and most do not, that it is your life, and your body. It is for you to decide if you will take the doctors recommendations and go through with the suggested treatments. It is your decision and yours alone. And if you have a doctor that will not allow you to decide or question his recommendations. Then look for a new doctor immediately. They are not gods, just mortal men and women who have been trained in a limited scope of medicine. I will say, if you find a good doctor, they do know what they are talking about, but you must ask questions and push them to make sure that they see you as a person and not merely a statistic.

Open your eyes and see the beauty in the world!! Look for that which makes you happy and content. Do not waste a moment, because nobody knows when it will be their last day. So many variables play in the equation that it is just a calculated guess. Find love, express it every time you can and smile, laugh, and savor your moments. then look cancer in the eye and say you will beat it!! And believe it wholly in your heart and mind!!! Then you will have a fighting chance.

Life is not merely surviving!!!!!