THE FUNERAL

I laid Lewis to rest on Friday, but only in spirit. We had the funeral, but his body is still in California. What a mess. He has to first go to the Medical Examiner to be signed off on before they could release the body. But that did not happen, the morgue he is at is moving so very slow. I should get his remains one of these days. All said and done, it is surreal. The funeral is a bad dream. I still expect Lewis to be walking in any day now and ask in surprise “What is going on here? Why all this fuss?”. I mentally know it will not happen, but my heart wants so much to believe it. I have lost my husband, best friend and soul mate. I have a hole in my heart, which shall remain until I join him.

The funeral is over. Most of the family has left. My son is with me and I am glad to have his company. I go to see my daughter and her new baby on Friday. I am told this is a blessing and I know that it is. I am so happy for my daughter and her husband and I cannot wait to see my granddaughter for the first time. But it is not a replacement for Lewis. It will be great seeing her, holding her, smelling the new born baby smell that I love. But that would have been true even if Lewis was with me. One thing does not have anything to do with the other, as so many want to believe and have expressed.

The only thing that I can say is that when Lewis left this earth he did so on the top of his game. Not meaning work, not his career, although he was considered one of the best attorneys around. But I mean he left with a smile on his face and laughter in his heart. He had the best year of his life!! He had fun! I mean real honest to goodness fun! He was a kid again. He should have had more years to have more fun, but at least when he died it was not behind a desk.

So, this blog was started in order to try to give those who are ill a push to live. To experience life, to not be afraid to live life to the fullest. Not to live from doctor appointment to tests to another doctors appointment. But now I realize that the push is for anyone and everyone. Ill or not. So many people do die behind their desks or fail to do that which they have always wanted to do. Putting off their dreamed lives until they do in fact die or unable to go due to physical or mental infirmities. What I want to say is live. Do not put off your dreams until tomorrow, because tomorrow may not be in your cards. Lewis was not sick. He did not have a heart condition. He was a healthy man. And now he is gone. Life is fickle and you can not risk wasting even one day! There are no guarantees in life!!!

Also, tell your family, your friends, your significant others that you love them. Make up with old friends. Mend fights. Be open to expressing your feelings. It will do you a world of good. Those who you tell will accept it or not, but you really will be doing it for yourself. You can leave this earth with no regrets. I always said that you should find one thing that brings you joy every single day, even if it lasts for just a few minutes. Expressing love and friendship can brighten your day and bring you joy!

Live life! Every one of you. Do not take it for granted! Life is not merely surviving!!!!