ON TO VALENCIA SPAIN

I am leaving for Valencia tomorrow. I loved it here, but I am ready to leave. I spent Christmas in Porto, which needless to say was really beautiful. The town was hopping and the Port was a hit. Did you know that there is three types of Port; Ruby, White and Tawny. I like the White the best. If you can find it, give it a try. I spent New Years Eve in Lisbon on a bar crawl. No, I am not too old for a bar crawl. It was a lot of fun. See, age is not a factor. We saw the fireworks, drank champagne in a Park and then went to a dance club. It was just like what I thought it would be like and I had a real good evening. But I am looking forward towards my next adventure.

I am alone now in the apartment. My friend left to go to visit her friend in Spain and I will not see her again until I make my way to Barcelona in about nine days. I will spend about two days with her and another friend and then I proceed to meet up with my high school friend who is flying into Barcelona. We will then proceed to play tourist for a couple of weeks and see the sights in Barcelona and then onto Madrid, Sevilla and then back to Valencia. I think we will thoroughly enjoy the time we will spend together.

Being alone is new to me while traveling. I am lonely and I seem to get mad hourly at Lewis for doing this to me. I know without a question of a doubt that he would love to be with me, and would have never left me if he could have helped it. But I am mad at him and at the world for being put into this position of not being with the man I love. But at times, as strange as it may sound, I do feel as if he is putting his arms around me and telling me he is with me. I know in my heart that he will be with me forever, but even so, I am alone.

So with this knowledge, I have a choice to make; I can either move on, learn to be alone and make the most of it or I can get into bed, pull the sheets over my head and not get out. I could then wallow in my loneliness and sadness. I chose to move on. Yeah I am sad, yeah I am lonely, but I will not stop living. My illness is the only thing that can stop me and until it does, I am moving on.

I go home in about five weeks. I will get my Pet Scan and my blood tests and hope for the best. I am already making plans to travel again after I go home. I have decided long ago that my illness will not stop me from living. It may put certain requirements on me, like coming home every three to four months to get my tests, but I will work those requirements out in order to continue to travel and live the life that I want. Life should be lived. It should be lived to the fullest!!! No one has any guarantee as to how long we have, so do not waste a day. If you are sick, take care of your illness and find a way to continue living the life that you want. Do not allow an illness or the loss of a loved one to rob the joy and pleasure from your life. Believe it or not we can all still smile and laugh even during the hardest times of our lives. So, I will say it again, find that which brings you pleasure. Find that which allows you to let go of your thoughts and allows a sense of peace to enter your life. One can be lonely and sad and still find joy at various moments throughout the day. Find yours!!

Life is not merely surviving!!!!