A NEEDLE IN THE HAYSTACK

Yeah, that is exactly what I am looking for; the needle in the haystack and to make it even more exciting I am doing it with my eyes closed. You know I am being facetious, but that is how it feels. If you remember, I have already explained to you in my last blog that I am looking for mRNA and/or immunotherapy cancer trials to participate in, well, it is extremely tough going. All the trial summaries are written for those in the medical field. There are so many variables to consider and to really understand what is being presented you need a thorough understanding of the whole realm of cancer and all it’s technicalities. Which I must admit I do not have.

So far I have found that there are no such trials being done here in the great big beautiful United States of America, because the pharmaceutical companies who run 90 percent or more of the trials here in the U.S. do not want to find a cure for cancer. What you say, yeah you heard me right, if they find a cure, then they lose trillions of dollars they would have other wise made every year. They do not want to kill the cash cow that they have created. They have only clinical trials utilizing hormones and chemo therapy. These they want you to take until you eventually die. Hopefully you will survive for many years so the companies can make the big bucks, but it is not a cure.

But I did find clinical trials utilizing mRNA, immunotherapy, T Cells and all the cutting edge research in Israel and in Australia. What does these two countries have in common you may ask? Other than both are pursuing such trials. Well they are both Socialistic countries. Now why do you think that would make a difference, elementary my dear Watson, the pharmaceutical companies in Socialistic countries, where the Government pays for the majority of a citizens health care and the government determines what can be charged for said care, do not have their politicians in their pockets like the U.S. nor the economic incentive to prolong the disease as the American pharmaceutical companies have. Let’s face it, America runs on greed when it comes to our health care system.

So would I consider going to Israel or Australia for treatment. I would. However, Israel at the moment, is a scary proposition now that they are on the brink of a war with an old enemy. But if they have a program that will save my life, I shall go. It will be not be easy to go, especially I will be doing it alone. If I could find a treatment in America, I would love it. I really do not want to pack up and move to another country, but at the moment it appears to be my only choice. I will continue to look for other alternatives.

In about 10 days I leave to go to my daughters wedding. I am so very excited!!! It shall be a highlight of my life. I only wish Lewis was here to celebrate this very special occasion with me and our family. He would be so very happy. He would be beaming. If you knew Lewis then you know that he always had this great big smile on his face. That smile said it all. And that is how he would be if he was at the wedding. In my minds eye, I know I will see that face at the wedding. He will be with me. But it is not the same. At times I feel as if there is no meaning to life That what happens is arbitrary. I will never understand why Lewis died. I lost my life long companion and my best friend. This loss is the hardest to acknowledge and accept.

One day you can be happy, living a fulfilled life and the next day, the next minute, it can all come to an end. It happens in a blink of an eye. So don’t waste even one day. Try to find happiness every day of your life. You can have an illness, you can be lonely, but something will make you smile. Find that something and pursue it. Tell the person you are with how you feel. Let them know if you love them. Do not wait, because you may lose your chance to do so. Life is fleeting, make the most of it. Love deeply, smile often and laugh every chance you get.

Life is not merely surviving!!!!