Progress Report

I have now had three cancers removed from my brain, two by gamma radiation and the third large cancer by an operation where they drilled through my skull. My memory is coming back and I do not feel as if I am in a fog as I have been feeling for the last six months. I really thought that I was getting Alzheimer’s or some sort of dementia. It was a very unsettling feeling knowing that you did something that was totally incorrect or that you did not finish the last few steps to complete the task: it was as if the thought totally disappeared from my mind. I can now empathize with people with memory loss and how they just give up.
Last Thursday I had my first targeted Chemo treatment. Getting Chemo was always my biggest fear. I truly believe that had I gotten Chemo back in 2002, I would be dead today. Yes, Chemo was different then, all cells were targets back then. It was like using a nuclear bomb to remove one building in a small town. Many people died from the treatment alone. So, I was nervous to say the least. But I must say that having had my first treatment, I am relieved; I did not become ill, I was not nauseous, and I feel pretty good, actually.

I went to my follow up with my surgeon yesterday to find out that my most recent MRI of my brain showed that I have cancer cells in my neck, which created two small holes in my C2 vertebrae. And my team of Oncologists do not want me to wait to see if the Chemo will take care of the cancer in that area. They feel that it is in a too sensitive of an area and must be removed before it can cause irreparable harm. Which means that I now have to get radiation on my neck. Just when I thought I was over all the procedures, here we go again. So, this Thursday I go see my oncological radiologist to discuss when the procedure will be done.
It will have to be done real soon, or it will have to wait until I get back from the trip I just planned with my son. Every year on the death of Lewis, my husband, his father we go away on the date of his passing. I am going to NYC to see the 250-year celebration of NYC on July 4th and then we are going to continue to celebrate in the boot of Italy. Lewis would want us to do so.
It is important to keep perspective on what makes life worth living. It cannot only be doctors and procedures. One must have a reason to live and enjoy one’s life whenever one can. If my procedure has to wait, then I must acknowledge that they found the holes in my neck via happenstance. Therefore; in my opinion, it can wait a few weeks. I may be told differently, but I will cross that bridge when I get there.
This may sound strange, but I feel that I am damn lucky!!!! I do not feel pain, I am not nauseous, I am able to wake up in the morning and smile, I have a team of doctors that care and I have friends and family that I love and who seem to love me in return. I am still going to finish my house in Costa Rica and it will bring me joy. I will do my art there, I will commune with nature and I will find happiness and contentment. This makes the fight worth all the effort!!! If you are going through a loss, a health issue or just hard times, just remember that you should find that one thing daily that brings a smile to your lips, find that one person who supports and comforts you and remember that if you open your eyes in the morning the gods are smiling at you!!!

You can make it, no matter what life throws at you!!
Live is not merely surviving!!!!