FINALLY SOMETHING TO SAY

I have not written for quite a while due to the fact that I did not know what to say. I have been waiting to talk to my doctors and to make some decisions. I have now seen and talked to my Oncologist here in Miami a few times, spoke to my Oncologist from Sloan Kettering and discussed my course of action with a cancer researcher who reviewed my cancer history and treatments and they all say the same thing. Stay the course. Take the Verzenio (the medication I have been on for about a year) at the higher dosage and let’s see if that buys you time. Right now buying time is what I am doing and I suppose that is what I will be doing for the rest of my life. Strange way to view life, but it really is the only way to see my situation clearly.

I am leaving in a couple of days to meet up with my daughter, grandchild and my soon to be son in law to go skiing in Sandpoint, Idaho. I am so excited. I have not skied since before COVID and it is one of my favorite activities. The mountain had just received over five feet of snow and what more can one say. Only a skier understands. It will be great getting back on skies and being with my family. We had a house in Sandpoint for many years and I am also looking forward to seeing all my old friends.

Once I get home, I will have to increase the dosage of Verzenio once again. I am waiting to increase the dosage after the trip so that I will not be subjected to complications, if there are any, while I am away. My choice, but one my Oncologist can live with. Both of my doctors and the researcher have all concurred that I should get a Pet Scan no later than 8 to 10 weeks from now. I have already scheduled one for the second week of May. If the increase dosage is working, well then wonderful. If not, then I have to make some decisions. Either I can go on the Chemo pill or I will have to find a clinical trial. The trials can be to develop a new medication or a new targeted cancer injection. I am hoping to find one for the injection. I believe that the injection will eventually be the demise of cancer. I am already looking for a trial. But it is not that easy to do.

The blood test that I took that was looking for mutations in my blood came back negative. So a whole multitude of cancer medications are not available to me. The second blood test I took the results are still pending. This second test gives a better reading of the advancement of the cancer. I took it again today and the two tests will be compared to see if the increase in milligrams of the Verzenio is working.

I am going to go to North Carolina when I get back from Idaho. I will then be going out to California in May to celebrate my daughter’s marriage. I am making reservations for Costa Rica in late May. I am making reservations for Italy for September and October. So what am I saying here? I am saying that I will not let cancer win. I will not live from doctor appointment to doctor appointment. I am going to travel and do the things I love whenever I can and I will do so for as long as I can. I truly believe that traveling had dampened the grief I felt for the loss of my husband and it kept me sane. I also did not think about my cancer while I was traveling nor the life it has created for me. Traveling gives me something to look forward to. I have joy in my life. I am still alive and I will not stop living!!! Find your own joy! Do not give up, for if you do, your illness wins. Your grief wins. Take every day as a gift and do not waste it!!!!

Life, as I have always said, is not merely surviving!!!